By Your Side

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go
This song has a lot of depth and meaning to it. Don't chase what the world gives. Don't seek what sin offers. But search Christ with a passion in your heart. He's always there, never letting go. He's just waiting for you and the only thing you have to do...


...is to let go

Camp to SEMP to Mission Arlington

DCCYC is a camp I go every year. Lasting for a week, we basically worship, study God's Word deeply, and hang out with a bunch of friends. The theme for this year was the "Relationship Element." We learned how important it is to build a relationship with people, learn their customs and culture, and much more. The day of coming back from the exhausting yet wonderful camp, I had to pack up for the next morning to go to the mission trip in Chicago. The organization we were in was called SEMP (Students Equipped to Ministry to Peers). This missions was a bit different than the previous missions I have been going to. Where most mission trips tend to be about building houses, painting fences, mowing people's lawn, this was in the territory of Evangelism.

In this SEMP, there were about 500 students and we were all placed in 20 different pod groups. Not knowing any of the people in the pods, but required to work together was a big task. Throughout the week, each pods went to different areas of Chicago. Either it was the pier, park, or even at the train station, we went to share our testimony, the story of Jesus Christ and much more.

A week later, we went to another missions, but this missions was where we lived. Mission Arlington. Staying at church throughout the week, our youth became closer to each other.

We would hand out flyers, go to apartments and invite anyone who would like to come join us in VBS. We would set up outside in a small field near the apartments and we would do songs, memory verses, small group, games etc.

Our youth had to do some major teamwork throughout the day. We would have to help each other when one got stuck in praying, singing or just hanging out with the kids.

The first day, a speaker was telling us a story and i dont really remember it all:

An old lady was experiencing some kind of symptoms and some stranger who was a nurse or something told her she was going through a heart attack soon. He called the ambulance, provided her some comfort and when the ambulance came to take her, she refused. She stayed calm and told them she didn't need them and walked away. Confused, the medics and doctor just stood there wondering why she wouldn't want the things she needs to be saved.

As she walked away, she bumped into her friend and she just started to freak out and told her to take her to the hospital and stuff. What the medics and the doctor didn't realize was that her mom died in the ambulance's car and she just didn't want to die in ambulance car.

The main message in this story was you could give someone everything, the bible, the wisdom, the prayer, lessons, but they won't take it. They are looking for a relationship and by God's plan, we've been learning the Relationship Element in camp and we also learned how to talk to people through SEMP.

As a game leader, I decided to build a relationship with the kids instead of forcing the songs and lessons on them. I could do whatever games they want and I became the "cool" person to hang out. There were always these group of "kids" who would be trouble makers. Our youth pastor, youth and other supervisors were irritated and annoyed by them. Knowing they wouldn't participate in any of the activities we would hand them except for the games, they just wouldn't sit down quietly and pay attention. Trying to discipline

Every morning, I would wake up at 6 and pray. Pray that the holy spirit would use me throughout this week. And on the last day, I was like "Today is the last day, Lord, use me and let these people hear the wonderful story of Jesus Christ and plant a seed in their heart"
During VBS, before small group started, I pulled our youth pastor aside and asked if I could lead a small group. He said yes and I specifically asked for all the trouble-makers

Surprised, he said, yeah.

Through the work of God, 3 people accepted Christ that morning. 10 kids accepted Christ that week. 10. Zeph apparently prayed for 5, but I was pretty sure he said 10, God faithfully answered our prayers.
It's been a great summer, from God changing my bitter heart to a loving heart, I know God has a plan for me.

¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Matthew 28:18-20

God & Friends

Friends are meant to help each other.

"Two are better than one, 
   because they have a good return for their labor: 
If either of them falls down, 
   one can help the other up. 
But pity anyone who falls 
   and has no one to help them up. 
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
   But how can one keep warm alone? 
Though one may be overpowered, 
   two can defend themselves. 
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Above all, don't lose your faith. Do not become faithless.

Trust and believer all things will come.

Prayer is key. And prayer requires discipline.
Prayer requires humbleness.

Prayer requires silence.

It is hard. When the world revolves so fast, so loud, so mighty.

Don't worry for worries do not extend your life.

Place all your anxieties onto Him.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

Endurance. Run run run to him and Him alone. Do not place your trust on yourself. Your friends. Do not run the other way. Do not look left or right, though it may be tempting. For God is waiting for us.

That's what I learned for the past weeks. 

Humbleness produces Greatness through God. God uses the weak, not the strong.

Shining out through the Hopeless

The teacher I asked to sponsor PraySing said he could not because he had to take care of his kids and his wife said he couldn't.

Man...

I was really looking forward to it. I stopped praying about it. I woke up late today.

Yet God still showed that He was in control.

There's a devotion group led by a friend of mine that was created during lunch called S.W.A.T. [S]tudents [W]ith [A] [T]estimony

During Chemistry, I was telling him about how I was planning on making a club for Christians and stuff and he started telling me about teachers who could sponsor it.

In the end, he said an art teacher. I didn't know her. I stalled my time. I was like, "okay, I'll talk to her later". And he was like "No, no lets talk to her now, I'll go with you"

We went, and she turned out to be a nice person.

When we greeted her, I explained my club, the purpose and so on. And in a flash, she immediately said "YES, OF COURSE, YES YES. Give me your info and we'll talk more about this later, I have a teacher meeting starting right now."

Later, we left and my friend told me how she was praying and praying for a student to make a Christian club. Not just a club where they play games and have fun, but a true Christian Club. The irony, huh? Nope, it's God's planning.

We started talking as we walked to the parking lot, started talking about uniting S.W.A.T and PraySing. Hoping to bring people in and let them understand that this isn't just a religious thing, but a relationship with Christ.

Crazy...even when I doubted him, had the least amount of faith in Him, he revealed his plans today. I'm suppose to meet with the art teacher tomorrow and just talk about it and stuff. I'm excited. YES! Praise the Lord!

Pray, pray for me and this club. That we can exalt God through this.

"O LORD my God, I take refuge in you; save and deliver me from all who pursue me, "

                                                                ~Psalms 7:1

 

Shhh

"He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; 
   I will be exalted among the nations, 
   I will be exalted in the earth.” ~Psalms 46:10 

How many times have the verse Psalm 46:10 come across our minds?

Do we acknowledge it? Or just live our lives?

I struggle with that. I'm an active person. I love to run around, I love to sing and play guitar. But it's not about me. It's about God.

For God says "Be Still and know that I am God"

Whew... just on our knees and having absolute silence. Nothing.

No music in the background. No prayers or request. Just knowing the splendor of God and his mighty power...just...

                                          ...Silence....

It's hard. Definitely with Spring Break. But as it ends, as school comes and challenges and bumps come. When we need him, we pray. God wants us. He's hear listening and waiting for every need we have, for every praise we can shout out, and every heart broken from some tragic event. We want to live our lives. But God wants us to live for Him.

So in the times of devotions for me, instead of praying an everyday routine, I decided to be silent and know God is God. It's hard. Not to wander my mind off to another thing. A party, a hangout, a girl. Anything. But as times go by, perfection comes closer. So I'll try. Keep it going...5 minutes with silence...10.....15......30.....60....forever...

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."

                                                              ~Matthew 6:24

Think

Take a moment and ask yourself this:


Why are you trying to obey the 10 commandments?
Why are you not cheating?
Why do you want to share the Word with others?


Is it because it "seems" right? Or what?
Seriously, just don't do anything right now, but think.




















See, we're here to glorify God.
That's our purpose, to worship and praise God and God only.
Grades isn't the main thing. College. Business. Nothing.
Because everything is in the hands of God. You can't change that. I can't change that.
And if you think about it, in the end, we, believers, are all going to heaven and just glorify God forever and ever. So why not start now? 


1 Chronicles 16:29 Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness. 


But the thing is. We're all selfish. It's in us. And we're blinded by it.
Consumed by the world. But God has chosen people to see. Like us.
We became believers. We know God is real. But a lot of people don't know Him. They question Him, they simply just reject God.
And when the times come, when our friends ask us who He is. We're stunned.
We don't know what to say, what to do, or even how to react to the question.
Why?
Because we aren't prepared. We have to read, pray, fight. We have to be ready and armed with the Armor of God throughout our lives. But we don't that's the thing.


For it says in 1 Corinthians 3:6...


I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. 


Pray for the Holy Spirit to dwell in you throughout the day.
A new task has been given to me now,
The first, is total Obedience toward God - Building that foundation to fight for the years yet to come
The second, is to be ready when the time comes, whatever or whenever that may be.




To not be of this world, but be out of this world. 
To influence, not be influenced.
That's the hard part...well actually they're both hard.
But with God, all things are possible. Just need that passion and the right motivation why we are doing this:


To Glorify God.

Worship forever!

I have SAT this week. Projects to do. AP Test to study for. But, hey, I'm not worried. Because I know my God is with me. Forever and ever!


What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
                                                       ~ Romans 8:31

I've placed my trust in God. And it's been worthwhile. Though I woke up late today, I still overcame the temptations that wandered around me because my walk with God isn't just in the morning times, it's throughout the day. And I know I am a warrior of Christ.

I'm leading worship this Friday, though I think I'm sick again, and my nose is all clogged up, my voice isn't the greatest, I'm still going to worship Him. Nothing, nothing can stop me! :)

It's ripe. It's time.

The Lord will be with us. Never will He depart. Never will He forsake us.
He is our God, our King, and I am in awe that He would still love us even after all the things we have done against.


God has truly been my refuge. He is slowly and steadily, but peacefully and quietly, building my foundation, my fortress up. Strong-willed. No cracks. No faults. Nothing.
During my time with Z, we prayed for an hour before youth. It was nice. It was good. To worship and praise God and thanking him for all the things he's done for us.


Later, he pulled me aside. Took me to the sanctuary. We stood where the pastor stood to speak. No light. But the small sunlight fading in the window. We looked out in the empty seats. The quiet room. Silence.


Speaking, teaching me the ways of how a pastor gives a message. How, you have to be ready. Put your heart in the right place. Explaining. What he, himself, does.


Then, silence.


Looking around. Seeing how God built ACC. How silent, but praise worthy was it for me to stand there. In that dark room. Afterward, I told Z how I've been praying about being a youth pastor.
He looked at me and said,
"I already knew you were going to a pastor, but didn't which one."


As He walked away toward the youth room. 
I processed those words in my head.
I smiled. And thought. "God, I'm ready."




"In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge."
                                                                ~Proverbs 14:26


P.S. I have been asking a teacher and praying about making a PraySing Club. Please please pray for it. I know some great Christians out there in our school. I want to unite them all. 
Its time to leave a mark on this high school before I leave. A mark that'll glorify God forever and ever.

Searching...

My life's about to be revealed. I know it.

I know because I know God is real. I know He's going to show me how I'm going to serve Him on this earth. I'm excited. But it takes time. patience. Patience.

New Love.

New Foundation.

A Solid foundation.

Detailed, Strong, No Cracks, No Faults.

A Perfect foundation in Christ.

Leading.

Praying.

Reading.

Renewal of Faith.

A great & amazing testimony to share.

The option and new door of actually becoming a youth pastor.

These are the things I've learned. I've been given by the grace of God.

I'm excited. Yeah.

real excited.

17th Birthday

Well, it's my Birthday. February 11, 2012. I am officially 17 years old. 17 years a life worth living for Christ. I spent my whole day basically in PlanetWisdom with our ACC youth. I guess, it was a good day. Learning and understanding concepts about who Christ is, seeing people accepting Christ, learning to read the Bible better.


Yeah.


I would consider that being a good birthday. Thanks God. For giving my family, friends, and the youth to me. Though I do not deserve it, thanks for your Son, Jesus Christ, for dying for our sins.

Perfect Everything.

The LORD abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight.

                                                 ~Proverbs 11:1

What I've been learning through my quiet times and walk with Christ is that, you need to be honest. No matter how small or how tiny that thing is, stay honest, be faithful and do not fall into the hands of sin. If you want a firm foundation, a strong and enduring fortress, capable of any temptations to come. You need to start chipping off the minor sins. The lies, the gossip, the cheating, or even thinking evil thoughts that hurt others. Everything matters.

That's my challenge. To Perfect. Perfect and become like Christ. Perfect and become innocent as kids. Perfect and glorify God.

A Glass of Milk

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, “How much do I owe you?” “You don’t owe me anything,” she replied. “Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness.” He said, “Then I thank you from my heart.”

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Year’s later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor’s gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She began to read the following words:

“Paid in full with one glass of milk”

Signed, Dr. Howard Kelly.

Love spreads & multiplies. 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64...
It is shared and given with mercy and grace. It's hard to love first, when others hurt you. For me, sharing or giving up my time for others is hard. Especially when I dislike the person. But God said love. So I'll try. I'll start to love. I know it's hard, but God loved us, so I'm going to start to love.

"And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you"
                                                                     ~Matthew 5:40-42

Gift of Love

“Can I see my baby?” the happy new mother asked.

When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped. The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears.

Time proved that the baby’s hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung himself into his mother’s arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy. “A boy, a big boy … called me a freak.”

He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. “But you might mingle with other young people,” his mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart. The boy’s father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? “I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured,” the doctor decided.

Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice for a young man. Two years went by. Then, “You are going to the hospital, Son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it’s a secret,” said the father. The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs.

Later he married and entered the diplomatic service. “But I must know!” He urged his father, “Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him.” “I do not believe you could,” said the father, “but the agreement was that you are not to know … not yet.” The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come … one of the darkest days that a son must endure. He stood with his father over his mother’s casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal that the mother had no outer ears. “Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut,” he whispered gently, “and nobody ever thought Mother less beautiful, did they?”

Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.

This story is remarkable. But the story of Jesus Christ is even more indescribable.
This is an example of love, of what true love can do. Christ DIED for us, sinners, so we could be with Him and His Father. Love is what pushes me to continue to find him through the dark times. I'm reading through 2 Samuel right now and I'm still going forth. Praying and seeking Him. I think...no...I know it'll all be worth it in the end.

Psalm 23:5-6

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Waiting

I still do my devotions. All the time. Never once will I stop. But the quality of that time, is what I want to perfect. I almost cried last morning, overwhelmed on how much Christ loves me and how it just doesn't make sense. We did nothing for Him. He did EVERYTHING for us. I’m searching, searching, slowly and but steadily, hoping. No, believing that God will reveal Love too me.
Searching God with a pure heart, I know He’s waiting for me, waiting for me to have pure obedience.

Unanswered

I feel, like I lost my faith. I’m blinded by the deceit and lies that roam around me. I question my faith, I question why I’m even serving the Lord. I see the different religions and perspectives that each living person bases their belief on. I’m always questioning whether God is real, even though I know He is real. I’ve seen his miracles, his works done by grace, yet I can’t strap myself down and see. I believe, I believe He is real, He is true, He is God and God alone.

What I can’t comprehend is why.

Why.

Why. Why. Why. Why. Would He still love us?

Why would He still search for us?

Why.

I’m devoured by hate, envy, lust, pride, sorrow.

Yet, He still loves me.

I don’t understand.

I don’t understand and that just amazes me.

I’m too ashamed of myself. I’m covered by a blanket of guilt. Guilt that God doesn’t want me. That God is angry with me. So I stop. So I stop searching, feeling there’s no use. No use.

I was told Sunday morning, I was to lead worship this Friday.

First thing that came into my mind was, “Crap.” Because I know I’m still trying to get my heart in the right place. I have billions of projects to due, I have to bring my grade up, improve my GPA, do this, that. I still have to work-out, take naps, help organize the gifts for the ACC Valentine’s gift.

And I have to get ready for worship this Friday.

I have too much. Too much to do.

I feel so stressed, so burdened. There’s just simply too much to do. On top of that, I broke my laptop today. I just wanna freeze time and take things slowly. But I can’t.

Sunday, Isaac preached, went in depth with the Armor of God, convicted me of things I didn’t know of. The Word of God is the sword of the Spirit. That we can overcome the evil of this world. It takes obedience and discipline, but in time, you will overcome.
So hard.

So hard to be consistent with God. I want to know what that love feels like. I want it in just like that. I want to be Holy right now. I want to not be Sin, but instead, Love.

But I know I can’t, I know it takes time.

I need prayers badly, but mainly, I need God. Too much to do to think about this Friday. I can’t think. I’m frustrated. I know the obvious answer is to be still with God, but I’m too consumed by the World. Please, please pray for me. Pray for this Friday, Pray for me, my time, my faith, my love, myself. Please don’t just pray with ramble, pray with love. I do need it. I need time for God, which I cannot find.

Hmm...

When do we pray to God the most? When do we talk to God more? Through troubled times or times of happiness?
To my eyes, I see that we're selfish human beings. We start praying and asking God this and that. We start praying when we have a test the next day, when you're leading worship the next day, or something that's important and you know you've been slacking your work and you can't do it without a miracle.
Once it's over, once we got what we got. Once we succeed or failed in whatever we had, we forget God. We forget about Him. We forget our walks, we forget our praises to Him, and we just live our lives because we don't "need" Him. Everything's 'perfect'. 


Pastor Jason taught yesterday about how we need to be filled with the Holy Spirit. All the time, 24/7. We need to 'break camp' and move. We need to stop stopping where we are at, and move on. Go forth. We need to become stronger Spiritually. Not stopping. Not going back.


"Break camp and advance into the hill country of the Amorites; go to all the neighboring peoples in the Arabah, in the mountains, in the western foothills, in the Negev and along the coast, to the land of the Canaanites and to Lebanon, as far as the great river, the Euphrates."
                                                          ~ Deuteronomy 1:7

It helped me realized, I've been having a limit. I grow and grow, seeing the miracles and things that God wants me too see. Giving me verses that opens my eyes and tells me on what I need to do. I have this point, where, after I lead worship, after weeks of constant devotions, I feel like I'm good where I'm at. I start losing focus. I start forgetting why I need to keep going. And I just feel like that where I am at is fine. That I can just relax.

"Break Camp"

I guess God wants me to go forward. To push myself. He wants me to see and learn more.

This has always been in the back of my head. I mean, brothers and sisters, we all seen miracles performed by God, our God. We've seen the works and wonders God provided. We say we believe He's true. That's there is a God out there. Why then, do we doubt Him? Why do we not believe that God is doing something right now, this very second? Changing our lives, having our lives planned out before we were even born?

I mean, the disciples,  they've seen miracles Physically!!!

They saw him feed the 5,000. Heal the sick, the blind, and the poor.

But when they saw Him walk on water, they were terrified. When they saw Him calm the sea, they were astonished. Surprised. In awe.

So how would you define believe? Faith? 

We say we have faith, but do we believe? When we pray, do we just pray and hope? Or do we pray and KNOW he'll do something.

Yeah, it's hard, it takes time. But what I figured out is.

The more I spend time with Him. The more I seek Him.
The more I love Him. The more He'll open my eyes.

It takes time to develop a strong foundation. You can't just do it in one night, though God can do that.

Patience.

Perspective.

Time.

Those 3 words are the words I found out are for everything.

Patience in reading His Word. Studying. Praying. 

Perspective in a sense of seeing everything differently. Seeing people with the eyes of compassion, instead of hate. The ability to see what others cannot.

Time. You can't go back, time is always running. You can't stop it. Managing your time, your schedule in order to do everything well.

1 Samuel 20

         
         "After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together - but David wept the most. 
          Jonathan said to David, " Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ' The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.'" Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town."
                                         -1 Samuel 20:41-42


I'm in the book of 1 Samuel, and a few mornings ago, I read this. It really impressed me on how great and sincere Jonathan and David's friendship was. Their loyalty to each other couldn't be broken, not even by the Jonathan's father, Saul, King of Israel. Jonathan helped David escape before Saul could get too him.

Made me think...
In a church, in a youth, growing and growing in Unity. Becoming a stronger body of Christ.
We should help each other out. Help, the broke and weak. Casting each of our burdens to each other. Sharing. Laughing together. Growing together.
Helping each other escape the chains of Sin. Before the ruler of this earth, Satan, can get too us, let us help each other escape and find Freedom.

Enough

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me, with Your love

And all I have in You, is more than enough

You are my supply

My breath of life

And still more awesome than I know

You are my reward, worth living for

And still more awesome than I know

All of You is more than enough for all of me

For every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You is more than enough

You’re my sacrifice 

Of greatest price 

And still more awesome than I know 

You’re the coming King 

You are everything 

And still more awesome than I know

More than all I want

More than all I need

You are more than enough for me

More than all I know

More than all I can say

You are more than enough for me

Why do you search, am I not enough for you?

This world may provide the sufficient needs,

But joy is found through Christ Jesus who leads.

Praying

 Praying is important. Pray all the time. Every second. Every minute. Every hour.

I've been learning what God has been teaching me. It is truly amazing too see that He's here. Here to comfort and teach me. Discipline, yet love me.

Showing this side of me, is hard. I mean, people see me as a kid, just running around, yelling, laughing, bragging. It gets me mad. Too see people think about that. When they think they know you, they don't. But it doesn't matter, because I only care what God says about me.

I only care what He cares.

I lead worship last Friday, and from the beginning after school, till that night, I prayed. I prayed for the Holy Spirit too fill me in. To use me, for worship. That the things I do, I say, I sing, may be all for the Glory of God.

God's been speaking too me through His Word. And it gives me security. The ability to continue this fountain. Where, I can learn, and grow. Where wisdom comes from.

Trying to make this youth grow, it's hard. They're all little kids. Not mature to fully comprehend everything. But hey I am too. I try to make things fun, make a fool out of myself, but I don't care. I just wanna bond this youth together.

I see so much potential in this youth ready to just explode. But it takes time.

Patience, is everything. I realized "Patience" is required in everything. In reading, in praying, in learning, doing homework, studying.

Psalm 107:28-30 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven

Praying if fun, in my perspective. I find peace, I find this stillness through it.

Not just to pray for my own needs. But the ability to walk, and talk, and sit with God.

Knowing He's listening to my every needs. Praying requires faith.

Here's a short story I heard from my discipler:

There's a couple living in this farm and during the days, a drought came. From then on, they went out and prayed for rain. Every day, they just go on their knees and pray. Until one day, a stranger came and asked what they were doing. And they replied "We are here praying for rain, and have been praying for the past two years." The stranger looked at them carefully and said," You got this all wrong, you're doing this wrong."

The couple replied "What do you mean? We've been praying!"

The stranger said, "Next time, bring an umbrella outside."

See, here's the thing. They prayed, and prayed, but did they believe? When you pray, you have to believe that God's going to do something. He's going to answer that prayer. You can't just guess and hope for the best. But know that God is listening and that He's going to reply back. Believe when you pray. Believe that He's doing something. Right now. This second.

Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

Freedom

"Ruin my life, the plans I have made.
Ruin desires for my own selfish gain.
Destroy the idols that have taken your place, 
till it's you alone I live for,
You alone I live for."








I do love this song. It has great meaning and depth. It's word "Ruin" is so powerful, so extravagant, just singing it gives the back thoughts.
Do I really want Him to ruin my life? My life's great. It's fun. I love my friends, family, parties.One day, I want to be said "Well done, Good and Faithful Servant"
Not, "What have you done servant?"


I have discipleship every Friday basically after school. It's a Friday. I wanna go play Ping-pong, run, eat, hang out of with friends. But instead, I go to discipleship? Just sit there, talk about my PDA, my struggles, my life, then learn a lesson. That's it?
Song "Ruin my life" comes up every time I become selfish in thought and in desires.
That's not it. There's a point to it. Hard for me to understand since I am immature, but I can grow slowly through the patience and quietness I have throughout my life.


One of the verses I've memorized:

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there are no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with it's passion and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." Galatians 5:22-26


Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with it's passion and desires.


Destroying sin, with it's passion and desires. Is that even possible? Got me thinking, and it reminded me another verse I memorized:


"It is for freedom, that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do let yourselves be burdened again by the yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1


Freedom from sin. Something I long for.

Christ has set us Free

I haven't written a post in such a long time. I've had lost sight. But found now is found. I've wasted a week of a holiday on my desires. 
How guilty. how stubborn, how selfish am I too spend my time looking for fun! I've been displeased in the eyes of God, being tangled up in the world. But I'm running back. That's what matters. That no matter how hard those ups and downs, I still get up.


I heard a song on the radio, and I forgot the lyrics but it went something like this:
"You've been searching off in the world, am I not enough for You?"

The ONE AND ONLY THING WE NEED IS THE WORD OF GOD. Just a bible. That's it.
It provides, wisdom, knowledge, and an abundance of God's love filled with every single letter and space on each page. Each page.
Though I've fallen hard, being ashamed that I have disobeyed Father. I grew. I grew more. Learn from my mistakes, my stumbles, and began fixing. Growing stronger and stronger.


Let hope, rise, and darkness tremble in your Holy Light. 
That ever eye will see, Jesus our God!


I've been memorizing Bible verses, engraving them in my heart. 
The verse I memorized today turned out to be very useful for me at this time,


"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by the yoke of slavery."
                                      ~ Galatians 5:1


It's hard. Letting Go. I thought I let go. I thought I was being more "pure" everyday. But pride seeped in. I lost the goal I was aiming for and Satan slowly devoured me.
But. No. NO. 
Christ Has Set Us Free


I saw the stars today, looking out of the window of my car. Some glowing. Some shimmering. Some so small, it looked like a grain of sand. 
Thinking. God created all this. The Abba Father created these wonders. Yet, we tend to glorify and idolizes the invention of man-made things.
I'm getting up slowly, watching every step I make now. I'm more careful, more observant to the things that tempts me.
I do not know what God has in plan for me. I do not know my future. My death. The next minute. But, reading through His Word, praying. I have added on the list of what I might do in the future. yes, missionary might be one of them. But as I saw the gifts of what God has given me, I saw a purpose. I've added beside that, 


Youth Pastor.


Yes, I'm great with kids. I'm immature in a manner of sense that I'm always fun. I love hanging out with kids. Love seeing their lives change through the works of God. I have been putting some thought into it. But not much on prayer. I'll continue to pray and ask on what He wants to do in my life. And that I will continue to stay faithful to Him as He has been faithful to us since beyond the creation of Time.


I'm starting back up, focusing on my goal, my sight is a straight line. I will NOT LOOK LEFT NOR RIGHT. I will run back into His Arms once again.


I was thinking that no one would even dare to continue checking this blog throughout the break because I haven't written in so long. I thank you guys/gals for taking your time to understand my struggles & thoughts.